You talk to most single people, and they’ll tell you how happy they are and from the outside looking in, sometimes it appears they have the best of all worlds. Freedom – choice – independence – and an endless array of potential possibilities and exciting times.
Maybe for younger singles in their 20’s and 30’s this might be true. But what about Mature Singles 40+, is this your reality? Or are you dying a slow and lonely death when happy hour ends or when everyone punches out at 5 pm on Friday? Many of you single men and single women over 40 don’t have the options you once did, and some of you haven’t even tried in years. But why? There are many reasons to consider.
Getting back into the dating world can be one of the most intimidating and vulnerable experiences of your life. You might have more baggage now. You might not feel as attractive as you did when you were younger. Your best friend and ‘wingman’ might be married or not around like in the past. You might be coming out of a divorce or unsettling relationship with some emotional bruises. Whatever the reason, there is a lot to ponder before moving forward and making yourself vulnerable in the meeting and dating process.
As if that isn’t enough to keep someone comfortable reclusive the rest of their life, then comes the whole modern social environment of social media, online dating, texting – or ‘sexting’ for some, face-timing, snap chats, likes, ‘hooking up’, and you name it. It’s exhausting trying to keep up, and therefore, many simply don’t even bother.
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But here is the paradoxical reality – We want and need quality companionship for so many reasons and to deny ourselves is not only unnatural, it’s somewhat sad and pitiful.
The human spirit, mind, and body all need proper stimulation or like a flower, collectively, will wilt. The benefits of a partnership with the right person are plentiful. According to a recent article at TheGuardian.com the benefits of a quality companion to spend the rest of your life with (marriage) include the following:
- Better Health
2. More Active Sex Life
3. More Wealth
4. Longer Life
5. Less Loneliness
6. And a more ample waistline.
Yes, single people are less likely to be overweight compared to married people, but I think most people would trade that in for the five effects above it.
Okay, so now what? What is it exactly you need to do to make this transition and eventual entry and commitment to finding someone so you too can be healthier, sexier, wealthier, and live a long and lonely free life you’ve been pining for deep down for a while now?
Here are three recommendations we suggest:
- Get your life in order and your baggage checked.From your emotional health and mindset to your short-term finances, to the relationships with your family, or kids, or co-workers. It’s best to be at a place where you feel comfortable and secure with the state of your life so you can focus and be yourself when meeting new people. It’s also nice to offer up an excellent presentation of your life that is in order rather than one that seems chaotic or broken when introducing your life to someone new. Nobody is perfect, and we all have something we’re not entirely proud of and things happen, but do your best to tie up the immediate things first, and perhaps set this as a goal to then proceed towards the ultimate prize upon completing this step. Your self-esteem and confidence will benefit from this which will make you more assertive and attractive to others you’ll be meeting.
- Set some goals and think about what you want your life to look like and entail for your remaining time.Also, what type of person would make this the most achievable? Compatibility, commonality, chemistry, and comfort are all beautiful ‘C’ words to consider when thinking about the ultimate ‘C’ word, Commitment. Compatible – do you click? Commonality – do you share similar values, goals, ideals, interests, and backgrounds? Chemistry – are you attracted and have not only a physical energy present but an emotional or intellectual energy that is stimulating? Perhaps humor? Do you feel a certain something in proximity or from afar that attracts you to that person? Comfort – can you relax around this person and be yourself? Perhaps share your innermost secrets and fears or dreams? Is this someone you’d feel at ease introducing to your family or friends? Traveling abroad in close quarters? Someone you can share your Ambitions and fantasies with without fear of being judged or ridiculed.
- Make An Effort To Do Something – Until You Succeed!
Many single men and single women try dating for the first time in a while with high hopes and expectations only to be let down then give up too quickly. Be realistic and don’t apply any unnecessary pressure onto yourself as you begin the process of finding a partner to share a happy and healthy rest of your life. You need to be resolute and get it right this time and not settle for less nor give up easily because success is well worth the work and pursuit it will take. Be honest with yourself about where and how you plan on executing your plan regarding what will work best for YOU and your personality and lifestyle. Some people might feel more comfortable in social groups than others and if so, this is an excellent place to meet so long as it’s a fitting event with proper opportunities. Others like to be a bit more private and anonymous before putting themselves out there and might try the online dating route. Others might want to network with friends or on social media. Others might be too busy to do any of these things or simply not wanting to and will enlist theservice of professionals who specialize in doing all of this stuff while searching for your ideal match while you focus on your other life priorities.
Regardless of where or how, pick an avenue or method and start working your plan with conviction and regain the happiness and health your heart, mind, and body need to live your ultimate, sustainable, and joyful life you seek and deserve.